Can you smell that?
If you’ve been busting your ass out in the summer heat, you can bet your bottom anyone within a few feet can tell.
We’re talking about sweaty balls, people.
The dreaded swamp crotch.
The not-so-distant cousin of the swamp ass.
This menace has been haunting men ever since we decided to ditch the short kilts and baggy breeches for tight-fitting underpants.
A little heat. A little friction. And just the right mix of missed precautions is all it takes to turn your pants into a raging battlefield.
It all starts with your dangling comrades getting ambushed by sweat and bacteria.
Itchy balls, chafed thighs, and swamp crotch are just a few of the many weapons of mass destruction. Everything gets hazy under the smelly fog of war.
So when the time comes for you to drop the shorts for that (un)lucky someone, you can’t quite tell if they’re impressed by the heat you’re packing or oppressed by the heat you’re packing. And that’s just one of the many ball-busting scenarios.
Needless to say, your troopers need you. So don’t leave them hanging, and start following the 3-step action plan down below to defunk your junk today.
Here’s a nose-wrinkling fact: many men don’t take the time to wash their nuts properly.
Let’s start by changing that. The next time you’re down to polishing your chassis, don’t forget to reach all the nooks and crannies of your nether region. Yes, this includes your nuts too!
Since the skin on your baby sack is extra sensitive, you want to use something light and unscented like a gentle body wash. Leave the harsh soap bars to macho men with a point to prove.
And finally, when you’re done with all the washing and before you get to draping, take a step back and let your nuts dry. Seriously. We can’t stress the importance of drying your junk enough.
Just listen to science: bacteria needs a dark, warm, and—you guessed it—moist environment to start breeding like crazy. And that’s where the notorious funk comes from.
So if you can take moisture out of the equation, whether that’s with a towel or the good ol’ summer breeze, your junk will be free of bacteria and the unwanted funk.
Extra Tip: For good measure, you should consider trimming your man-forest because hair does a fine job of trapping moisture and odors. But don’t shave it all off. Otherwise, you’ll miss out on the friction-deflecting powers of your pubes.
Of course. No amount of patting your boys with a towel will keep them free of moisture through the course of the day. Your body’s sweat glands will see to that.
Spoiler alert: Your crotch has more sweat glands than most parts of your body. And yes, that’s exactly why you’re always sweating your balls off in the summer.
So if you’re constantly fighting a bad case of the old scratchy scrotum, we’ve got three words for you: season your nuts!
Seriously! Baby powder is nothing short of magic when it comes to closing the floodgates of sweat and keeping crotch swamps at bay. Just sprinkle some over your groin and tap around gently before you head out for the day.
You can also go with sprays if that’s more of your thing. But be warned that sprays can be a little uncomfortable on your boys (they’re sensitive!). Plus, sprays don’t last as long as powder.
The final step of operation junk defunk is the suit of armor. You want to dress your boys well because let’s face it, they deserve it. That means wearing clothes that are loose enough to let your twins breathe and soft enough to let them hang high without friction.
In short, the clothes you wear can make the difference between a stinky jungle and a savory Sahara. But the absolute most important piece in keeping dry is your underwear.
Wear the wrong pair and you’ll be sorry faster than you can say the word. Your partner won’t be thrilled either. Here’s why. Most underwear is made with synthetic fabrics that don't breathe or moisture-wick.
Micro Modal underwear has the best breathability, is 3X softer than cotton with 50% better at moisture-wicking.
Imagine having velvety smooth lips cupping your balls and wicking sweat away like a cool summer breeze throughout the day.
—leaving your junk free of moisture and funk.
That’s how one of our customers described our underwear, often dubbed the most comfortable boxer briefs to ever grace your coconuts.
So grab a pair—or three—and see what the hype is all about!