Raise your hand if this statement rings a bell:
“Not tonight, honey. I’ve got a [insert random excuse here]”
If your hand is hanging up in the air, let’s start by acknowledging that you’re not alone.
Popular media and age-old “wisdom” might have you believe that men are supposed to get up and going at a moment’s notice. At the mere sight of a thirst trap, whether that’s the photo of an influencer on Insta or the glimpse of that next-door neighbor who knows how to flaunt her curves, you’re expected to get all hot and sweaty—putting the rest of your life on hold.
But as we both know, that’s not true. Sometimes we just don’t have the energy for a pants-off dance-off. It’s only natural. So there’s no point in beating yourself over the occasional night of cuddling only.
That said, if you’ve found yourself smack dab in the midst of a dry spell and it’s affecting your relationship, it’s best to stop ignoring and do something about it.
Luckily, you don’t need a dozen self-help books or prescriptions to get up and going again. All you need is to master the fine art of knowing when to pull out and when to go all in.
Don’t worry. It will all make sense in a minute if you keep reading.
These are the things that suck the sex drive out of your life and leave you feeling like an 80-year-old with no energy for anything fun. So you better pull out before it’s too late.
We’re all adults here, so let’s not shy away from admitting it: watching smoking-hot strangers slam their bodies in a steamy match of adult wrestling is nothing if not fun.
But the thing is, you shouldn’t let the excitement fool you. Watching that stuff all the time is bad news for the action in your own bedroom. Wanna know why? There are a million reasons, but the biggest is probably that none of it is real.
Those stunning bodies with zero flaws? Fake. The nonstop moaning in those wacky positions? Fake. The three orgasms in a row? Come on. You know the answer to this one!
So the next time you catch yourself browsing NSFW Reddit subs at work, hit that cross button in your browser and don’t look back.
Oh, and while you’re at it, slow down on the one-armed under-the-belt rodeos, pardner. Few things will kill your sex drive faster than daily sessions of solo action. So keep your hands away from yourself (but if you fall out of the saddle once in a while, don’t beat yourself up).
Both slow you down, muddle your thoughts, and make you drowsy. Each of those feelings is exactly what you DON’T want on the verge of having a fun night.
So throw away the cigarettes and cigars, lose the booze, and stay far, far away from hardcore drugs. Trust us, your body and your partner will thank you for it.
Whether it’s performance anxiety or catastrophic thinking, your mindset can take a massive toll on your sex drive. A lot of guys avoid sex not because they have a naturally low libido, but because they’re worried they won’t do it good enough. The thinking is that if the sex isn’t mind-blowing, their partner may feel turned off at best and ditch them at worst.
Of course, most people aren’t so vain. Nobody expects their partner to perform like the god of thunder in bed. You probably don’t have the same torturously high standards for your partner. So why screw yourself over with the same?
Ironically, when you’re not worried about getting three orgasms out of your partner in one night, you end up making it a good time for the both of you.
You’ve already mastered the art of pulling out. Now let’s talk about the habits you need to go all in to boost your sex drive and keep your head up all night.
Exercise can jumpstart your body into producing a lot of testosterone, the wonderful hormone that makes you crave all things manly. And yes, sex is one of them!
So while attaching weights to your babymaker won’t make it any bigger, it will turn you into a black stallion that’s never short of energy for sex.
Not to mention, packing muscles and dropping pounds is the secret to pounding away for as long as needed.
A word of caution, though. Exercise is only half of the equation. The other half is recovery. So if you aren’t already, be sure to get a solid 8 hours of sleep every night.
Not only will it help you recover from your workouts, but it will also improve your sex drive on its own. You know how you can't get your head straight after pulling an all-nighter? Well, it’s the same story with head junior. Your warden of the nether region needs some sleep too!
Most problems, in bed and in life, are caused by a lack of communication. Maybe your partner said something. Maybe they did something. Or perhaps it’s the opposite and you wish they said or did something you want.
Whatever the case may be, the solution is always about taking a seat and talking it all out. Be open and honest. Lay it all out. And if you’re in a relationship worth keeping, your partner will understand or at least acknowledge where you’re coming from.
If honest communication can end wars and save entire countries, it sure can save your sex life too.
Imagine a world where you can have an unlimited amount of your favorite snack for free. But there’s a catch. You can’t eat anything else, ever.
Despite your love for the snack and the allure of a zero-dollar price tag, it won’t take long for you to find it bland and boring. And that’s considering you’ll take the deal in the first place.
Now, before you get any wrong ideas here, let us elaborate. We’re not saying that you should hop on Tinder and start bringing a new stranger into your bedroom every day. What we mean is that if your sex life feels like a chore, change the way you’re doing it (not your partner!).
Try a fun new position, an exciting new location, dressed-up roleplay, and explore any secret kinks the two of you probably have—that little bit of extra spice is sometimes all it takes to get out of a rut and have the night of your life!
Heck, even a dazzling new pair of underwear can do the trick sometimes. You know what gets people excited? Opening a gift all wrapped up in vibrant and lively sheets.
So why not wrap your gifts to each other in a pair of softer-than-silk boxer briefs that’s as vibrant and artsy as it’s snug and comfy!